Public transportation?? I'm not convinced....as of yet..

Don't you just hate it when the government tells you that the only ways you can avoid the pinch from having to pay 2.70 a litre for petrol are by public transportation and car pooling? Situation could get worse after August as they have already stated that petrol could go up to as much as 4 bucks....which is all fine and dandy as you wake up on a sunny September morning and prepare to crawl on your hands and knees to work.

I still stand by my decision. That I would rather get a vasectomy than take public transportation. I'm not trying to say that I'm loaded and that I can afford a car with a full tank of petrol every other week. You see, I have a phobia of getting lost. When I was 2, I accidentally strayed away from my parents to look for toys in a shopping mall. Imagine the trauma I went through. I was so young, I was separated from my parents. That's when I knew I needed to get my own car fast so that I can go wherever I want and whenever I want to. I'm just kidding. Fact is I still have that phobia of getting lost. True story.

Which is why I don't fucking take busses. The government wants more people to take busses to their respective destinations. The government better start to explain to the first-time bus users a.k.a. me what U101 or U302 or U007 means. I'm not going to ask the guy next to me in the bus stop what destinations are those codes referring to. Rapid Penang, and other bus companies, if you're reading this, DISTRIBUTE A FUCKING MAP....AND A FUCKING TIME-TABLE. You see, with a proper route map and schedule, I would have no fears about getting lost as I can plan my time and journey properly. And I'd still drive because I still don't trust busses.

Rant Number 1 about busses...done. Now for 2 and 3. You see, the bus is a cheap mode of transportation where people from all walks of life can enjoy. And then, you get up a bus, only to be sitted next to someone who looks like he's been infected with herpes, and to realise after you've stepped off the bus that your wallet is missing. To the girls, if you're seated, wearing a revealing top, the guy standing next to you is not looking out of the window to look out for his current location. And if you're standing, that hard thingy prodding your ass is not his damned pocket knife.

Rant Number 3 is about the seats. I've sat in a Metro bus before, one of those KL busses. I swear to God, the seats were only big enough for people who would have loved to audition as Frodo or Gimli in the Lord of the Rings. That's because Metro assumes that all Malaysians are 4 feet tall and weigh 10 lbs. Which is wrong because Malaysians love their rendang and rendang makes us fat and that makes Metro irrelevant.

On to the second mode of public transport, the ever "reliable" monorail/LRT/train thingy. I love the LRT. As a matter of fact, I would have preferred this service to driving....if it weren't for the strange people that I keep meeting in the LRT. You see the first time I sat in an LRT 3 years ago, I was sitted opposite 3 people who couldn't stop starring at me. 3 years on and I get into an LRT and I still have people starring at me. And that's when I realise that they were not really starring at me. They were starring into blank space as they dream about quitting their mundane 9 to 5 job and banging their boss's hot trophy wife while pushing said boss off a 10 storey building for paying them RM1500 a month just because they were deemed too "fresh". No I'm not talking about myself. I don't take the LRT...and I have no job yet.

The other group of people that uses the LRT are the ones that don't know how to shut the hell up. Look. We don't need to know about your 9 to 5 job. We HAVE one as well. And we don't need to know what your boyfriend bought you for Valentine's because everyone in the damned carriage...I mean, everyone in the damned universe couldn't care less.

As for car pooling, that has got to be the biggest piece of horse shit I've ever heard. It'll never happen in Malaysia because people are too anal about what others would do to their car. I mean, you wouldn't want somebody to be digging their noses in your car now would you? And because the car is an investment (a liability, not an asset), people don't like other people to come in and fuck it all around...or stick nose shit to the underside of the leather seat of your Merc C200.
As for me, I am damn cincai with my car. I have people eating in my car(that's you dear..haha), nearly vomiting in it (that's you JC..haha), sleeping in it, sitting in it after being sweaty from sports, gays raping each other in the back seat and so much more. I guess that's why my car now looks like crap. But then I for one am someone with certain bad habits when in other people's cars as well.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know we were not allowed to play with your power windows" *glances at Yap Hong*

"What? I'm not allowed wind down the window and scream at pedestrians?" *glances at Chor*

"Oooo..what does this button do?" *switches on hazard lights*

Well that's just me. I must either drive or be strapped in a straight jacket because I just can't sit still as a passenger. Well, I can. For 5 seconds. Heyyyy..is that your wiper stalk?