I am sure most of you would agree with me when I say that Christmas and New Year countdowns are just a sorry excuse for teens to cause havoc. These are the same teens who are having their school holidays around this time of the year. These are also the same teens who are not old enough for the clubbing scene and thus, have no proper place to party. And these are the same teens who will be hanged in public if ever I was to become Prime Minister.

You see. I have always thought of Christmas as a peaceful celebration. Christmas songs. They're slow and peaceful. Unlike the Chinese, where every song goes "Bang Bang Bang" followed up by the ruckus of Chinese firecrackers. Which is actually just noise....not songs. If there are any Indians reading this, your songs are just as bad. I know I am generalising by saying Chinese and Indian songs are noisy and bad. So if you're a Chinese or an Indian, and you're not happy with what you just read...repot polis la mahai.

So this begs the question. When has Christmas become a celebration for teens to start jumping on and kicking people's cars? I really do not get it. The police are actually afraid of these teens. According to the papers, empty fake-snow cans were thrown at them while they were directing traffic. And yet all they could do was arrest 2 of the damned kids.

You see, if I were a policeman, and somehow I find myself being bombarded by teens with empty cans while directing traffic, I would gladly SHOOT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THOSE DAMNED MOTHERFUCKERS IN THE FACE. All 6 magnum bullets. And my 30-round MP5 sub-machine gun equipped with 5 extra magazines. That's right. In the face. IN THE FUCKING FACE.

You don't fucking mess with a cop when he's on duty man. If I become Prime Minister, it would be mandatory for police to shoot teens who are causing trouble in the face. No, the police will not be allowed to shoot at rapists, drug dealers, robbers, etc unless it is for self defense. But they are encouraged to shoot at teens who cause trouble. In fact I'll give them a bonus (more money for their kopi sessions) for every teen they shoot. And they will be properly trained so that if they were to ever have to shoot a teen, it would have to be in the face. IN THE FUCKING FACE MAN.

Frankly speaking, something has to be done to prevent the same thing from happening next year. The government could ban such countdowns, but that would make a lot of people unhappy. But who cares about the people? They always think that they're right. These are the same people who voted Pakatan and look what's happening now.

So if I were Prime Minister I'd still allow countdowns to go on. It would be the most disciplined countdown ever. No fake-snow. No teens. Identity cards will be checked. No one below 23 allowed. If anyone were to be caught with even 1 can of fake snow in their hands, so help me god, they'll be sniped in the head by the snipers positioned at strategic locations. Plainclothed assasins will be positioned in the crowd. So that if even 1 person so much as say that I suck as Prime Minister because of the tight security control, they'll have their throats slit by the assasins. A SWAT team will be ready, for crowd control. And if things get out of hand and people think they have the right to show their displeasure, they will be happily bombed by the B-52 bombers up in the sky.

So a countdown in my country would basically involve some fireworks. And after the fireworks, everyone is to go back home and do something productive. Like telling their kids not to jump on people's cars during countdowns.

A Real Review on Italiannies

Some months ago, we (PW and I) decided to try out that Italian restaurant which everyone can't stop raving about:- Italiannies. I mean I've read blogs and heard from friends about the quality of the food. So you would thought that I would leave the restaurant with a beaming smile of satisfaction after dining in one of the best Italian restaurants in KL, right?



Well, you were wrong. There is only one proper word to describe the food at Italiannies and that word is "mediocre". I don't have the pictures of the food we ate that night but I can still remember it clearly like it was just yesterday. You see, there are some things in life which one can not forget easily. And some of these things include being served a sorry excuse for a dinner in a restaurant with a noisy and lousy environment...and having to pay so much for it. The experience is akin to having my balls hacked off with a chainsaw.



So, PW had the Aglio Olio or something like that. The one where the pasta is tossed in olive oil and served with prawns. To be honest, I never liked this dish. Regardless whether it's Italiannies or Pizza Hut or Ah Keong the Hawker, all Aglio Olios taste the same. I wouldn't mind sharing but I would rather have a bucket of horse manure than to have to finish a plate of noodles in oil all by myself.



I on the other hand, had the Fettucinni Carbonara. Now, Italiannies can boast all they want about using fresh and genuine ingredients and so on but I swear to god that the first thing that came to my mind when I tasted it was................"Oh Good God, this tastes like Prego's".

I don't have the picture of Prego's Carbonara sauce. I can't be bothered to actually go to the supermarket and take a picture. Or search for it on the web.

And just to let you know, a small can of Prego's sauce, which can easily serve up to 2-3 people, costs less than RM4. A packet of spaghetti costs RM4. A packet of minced beef costs RM8. Tomatoes are so cheap that they'll be negligible here. Add that up and it's only RM16 for a meal for 3 people. That's about RM5 per head.

So at that moment I was asking myself. Lord, where did I go wrong in my life that I have ended up in a noisy restaurant paying RM25 or so for a plate of pasta that tastes EXACTLY the same as something that would have cost me RM5. So really, their Fettucinni Carbonara. Nothing special. Nothing unique. Any Tom, Dick and Harry could have made one of these....with Prego's of course.

Now you would notice that I can not stop complaining about the restaurant being noisy and all. Well, from my 6 months living in this new area (Petaling Jaya), I have come up with the conclusion that all PJ people are obnoxious and noisy people. I know I am generalising a very big population. So, if you're from PJ and you're not happy with what you just read......repot polis la mahai. I swear I have not once entered a restaurant in PJ where everyone would just silently enjoy their meals. Italiannies is no exception because that day, the people at the table next to us were celebrating someone's birthday and there were lots of laughter and songs. Something along the lines of TGIF's concept. Which is of course is exceptionally stupid and had fucked up the whole dining experience.

So in conclusion, to me, Italiannies will continue to be a place where people will rave and praise non-stop. But you know you will never dine there for a second time. I know I wouldn't. I have already begun to ignore people who still insists that Italiannies is a good place to dine because I believe they have the tasting ability of a camel. So really, Italiannies is just like TGIF in every way. Bad food. Bad environment. No more second time. For as long as I continue to walk the Earth.