The Forbidden Kingdom

So I watched The Forbidden Kingdom about 2 weeks ago and....only reason why it took me so long to write a review is because I just realised there are people out there that are actually PRAISING this movie.


Don't get me wrong here. The movie has everything needed to be great! I mean you have Jackie Chan and Jet Li and you know it's gonna be full of kungfu shite and stuff. Shaolin monks are probably having a mass wanking orgy right up in their temples in the mountains while watching Jackie execute the drunken fist. Wooooooo....


Then you have 2 hot girls with small choochiis.






















See...wear so low cut still no cleavage...noob. hahahaha...well there was that fight scene at the end between these actresses though. And you know that you do not sleep, no matter how boring a movie can get, when there is a fight scene between two girls. Because if you pray hard and make a pact with the Devil/God that you will lay off the porn for a week, chances are that you might see the 2 girls tearing off each other's clothes................before they start making out. Cool. Lesbian cat-fights. I like.


Another great reason to catch this movie is because of the inclusion of Shang Tsung. Now if you don't know who Shang Tsung is chances are that you're a girl....or gay....or both.

All real men have watched Shang Tsung kick ass in Mortal Kombat during some time in their life. Who can forget executing Fatalities in the arcade when they were young? You know...

FINISH HIM!!!

front front back back punch and you whoop your oppoenent's head off.

This is Sub-zero ripping off Scorpion's head with spine still attached and all. Classic Fatality.

This is Shang Tsung's fatality finishing move..where he extracts the soul of his victim. Super cool.

So yeah there was Shang Tsung.....only in this movie he was known as the Jade Warlord.

And that's where it all goes downhill with this movie. Jade Warlord (you see I refuse to use the name Shang Tsung anymore in this sentence because Shang Tsung is too cool) died in a couple of minutes at the end fight scene........because he got stabbed by a Jade toothpick or some sort.

You heard me right...The end boss died because of a toothpick. This would never happen to Shang Tsung and you know it!

And how can anyone bear to watch Jackie Chan and Jet Li converse in English? Well I can. Cos I've beared 3 years of listening to the exact same Mandarino+English when I was in uni. But still it was horrible, torturing even. Heck I would rather get pushed down a flight of stairs then to listen to that again.

And and...why must Jet Li be playing the monkey guy?

I thought Jet was all about the cool and ruthless kungfu hero...you know..in Fearless? And Cradle to the Grave and such? All of a sudden he has to play a monkey who makes funny faces and noises. Dude that's not cool. It's scary even.

Anyway if you ignore everything that I mentioned above, it's still quite a nice movie................if you have brain damage that is. Hoho

Swear words in all languages

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Time for action

Everyone now...or at least those who have to pay for their own petrol are pissed at the new price effective from tomorrow. RM 2.70 from RM 1.92. Government still maintains that the price is among the lowest in Asia, somehow forgetting that salaries have not increased and are also among the lowest in Asia.




So this is the chance now chemistry graduates. Take this oppurtunity to come up with a new fuel substitute. There have been so many...from hydrogen fuel cells to solar power and all that expensive shit. But the common man cannot afford such...nonsense. There is 1 other alternative though....



Methane.




Methane is like fucking everywhere man. From your shit, from your fart....and everyone shits....and farts i think...which means an endless supply of methane. Take example one of my coursemates. He farts. No...he LOVES to fart. One time he farted, the earth moved out of orbit and there was a solar eclipse.
















Oh by the way he looks a little bit like this:

Hahahahahahaha....The last time he farted, the tectonic plates beneath the Earth moved, causing a massive earthquake in China which killed thousands.

So anyway..methane...good and readily available source, have been proven to work (by the people at Top Gear, who compressed methane and inserted it into cars) and relatively cheap. Thing is...I don't think a lot of people would love to work with shit do they?

*William if you reading this...hahahahahhahahahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahahaha

Could have done it in less than a year

So I have graduated yeah, and my final CGPA is a 2.6 something which of course I am not embarassed to share and tell considering how much ermm..."effort"... I have put in these past 3 years.


Tiuzzzzzz....2.6 only ma...that's like only a second lower...tiuzzzzz


2.6 to me is damn fulamak high considering that throughout the 3 years I have been:

Reading newspaper

Reading magazines

Playing around behind lecture halls

Playing around in the laboratory

smoking in the toilets

playing around in the toilet

Playing in the toilet summore

Cacat-ing fren's cars
















Meng-cacat-ing fren's car summore



















"Redesigning" fren's motor

Going to IKEA just to make a sotong soft toy look like the Faceless Void...ermm...gay imba gg Dota hero with bash

Going to Carrefour to play with chairs

Playing real life Star Wars when we were supposed to study Calculus.

See...2.6 still ok la considering that I would never even touch my notes with a 10-foot pole during normal lecture days let alone listen and concentrate on the lecturers. I only study during study week k. Which means a month of studies for every sem. Which means 6 months of study to complete a 3 year course with a 2.6. Pro-nyerrrrr..hahahhhahaha

But really, as much as I still hate UTAR for possibly being the only learning institution that I had been that actually made me consider suicide each and every morning before I go to class, I still love the people there. Hope you guys are doing well then.

*Full credit goes to JC for all the pics he had taken during these 3 years and his effot in burning all of us a copy. Thanks bro.

Most eventful bus trip ever

I just got back from KL today. So I was waiting for my demon ride from hell...ooops..I mean bus at the platform at Pudu when I noticed this Indian dude and his wife staring at me like I'm some piece of tandoori chicken. This could only mean two things:


(A) He wants to know where you are are going and on which bus and at what time?
OR
(B) All of the above


Isn't it strange how Pudu and the various bus companies infuse a sense of no-confidence into travellers? I mean I have been asked quite a number of times and usually people ask because:


(A) The bus is late
(B) They are worried they have missed the bus
(C) They are on the wrong platform
(D) They just like to piss the lonely Chinese dude who is smoking in a corner waiting for his bus....oh wait that's me..hahahahhaa


So anyway this Indian dude started asking a lot of stuff and I just told him to relax man. As long as I can see you and you can see me, neither of us have missed the bus yeah? Anyway there was a lot of small talk and I found out he was from Calcutta in India. I asked him if he had tasted the Tandoori chicken in Malaysia. He said he has tasted better in Sri Lanka.


WTF? Sri Lanka? We lose kao kao.


Anyway when the bus finally arrived there was this aunty who suddenly asked me in Mandarin about the bus and so on...I assume la because I don't know mandarin. I think I replied something along the lines of:


"ping chen...si er tien pan"


because I bought a ticket for the 12.30pm bus which arrived at 1pm while the aunty was holding the 1.30pm tickets. That's when I realised. Oh good god I just spoke mandarin to a stranger. I don't know if what I spoke was actually what she wanted to hear. I could have said "I love Hello Kitty" without realising it.


Anyway, during the 10 minute toilet break halfway through the journey, I heard a lof of honking near the parking bays of the rest stop. Apparently some woman had parked her car on the side of a double lane exit. And the one who was honking behind....was a 30 foot long trailer, which obviously couldn't squeeze through that 1 free lane. There was another passenger in the car, some old aunty who couldn't drive I guess because the next thing I knew, she approached some Chinese dude who was smoking and drinking bottled RM2 Lipton ice lemon tea by the side. Oh wait, that's me. hahahahaha...


She was speaking in Cantonese but I already know what she wants. I hopped into the Myvi and drove it to another spot. So there it is. My first time driving a Myvi.......for 10 seconds. Yayyyy...


There was also this old uncle who out of a sudden started smoking in the bus. I was pissed as shit man. NO FUCKING WAY!! How can you smoke in a bus, which is an enclosed, air-conditioned environment with a lot of people in it......without letting me join in?? hahahaha.. It's a good thing I didn't though because the bus driver actually told that uncle off...with a mixture of words like kotek and puki. He was really not a happy driver this one.


Oh well, that's pretty much the bus journey for me. Might not be as eventful as some of you guys out there maybe but it's the most eventful for me to date. I drove a Myvi today....and saw someone smoke in the bus...and was told that Sri Lankan Tandoori chicken is better than Malaysia's. WTF...

Time for change

I've decided to start a new blog because I realised I can never improve on pgslacker anymore. It's too good...too perfect. How does one improve perfection you tell me? Hahahahahaha...I'm stuck everytime I wanna post something new there because the previous posts were all just too good and I was afraid my new post would be crap.

So here I am. Slacker 2. Slacker 1 was created during my free time after form 6. Slacker 2 now is created because I can't fucking get a job yet...which means I have as much free time as I have back then.

First off I didn't know there were a lot of people reading Slacker 1. I mean like every now and then at some gathering, some people would come up to me and say they read my blog. Which is cool and everything and I thank you all sincerely. But please, next time, for the sake of me knowing who is actually reading my stuff, LEAVE A COMMENT!!!!! (with your name in it of cos) hahahahaha...

I'll go work on my first post now. kthxbye