I am sure most of you would agree with me when I say that Christmas and New Year countdowns are just a sorry excuse for teens to cause havoc. These are the same teens who are having their school holidays around this time of the year. These are also the same teens who are not old enough for the clubbing scene and thus, have no proper place to party. And these are the same teens who will be hanged in public if ever I was to become Prime Minister.

You see. I have always thought of Christmas as a peaceful celebration. Christmas songs. They're slow and peaceful. Unlike the Chinese, where every song goes "Bang Bang Bang" followed up by the ruckus of Chinese firecrackers. Which is actually just noise....not songs. If there are any Indians reading this, your songs are just as bad. I know I am generalising by saying Chinese and Indian songs are noisy and bad. So if you're a Chinese or an Indian, and you're not happy with what you just read...repot polis la mahai.

So this begs the question. When has Christmas become a celebration for teens to start jumping on and kicking people's cars? I really do not get it. The police are actually afraid of these teens. According to the papers, empty fake-snow cans were thrown at them while they were directing traffic. And yet all they could do was arrest 2 of the damned kids.

You see, if I were a policeman, and somehow I find myself being bombarded by teens with empty cans while directing traffic, I would gladly SHOOT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THOSE DAMNED MOTHERFUCKERS IN THE FACE. All 6 magnum bullets. And my 30-round MP5 sub-machine gun equipped with 5 extra magazines. That's right. In the face. IN THE FUCKING FACE.

You don't fucking mess with a cop when he's on duty man. If I become Prime Minister, it would be mandatory for police to shoot teens who are causing trouble in the face. No, the police will not be allowed to shoot at rapists, drug dealers, robbers, etc unless it is for self defense. But they are encouraged to shoot at teens who cause trouble. In fact I'll give them a bonus (more money for their kopi sessions) for every teen they shoot. And they will be properly trained so that if they were to ever have to shoot a teen, it would have to be in the face. IN THE FUCKING FACE MAN.

Frankly speaking, something has to be done to prevent the same thing from happening next year. The government could ban such countdowns, but that would make a lot of people unhappy. But who cares about the people? They always think that they're right. These are the same people who voted Pakatan and look what's happening now.

So if I were Prime Minister I'd still allow countdowns to go on. It would be the most disciplined countdown ever. No fake-snow. No teens. Identity cards will be checked. No one below 23 allowed. If anyone were to be caught with even 1 can of fake snow in their hands, so help me god, they'll be sniped in the head by the snipers positioned at strategic locations. Plainclothed assasins will be positioned in the crowd. So that if even 1 person so much as say that I suck as Prime Minister because of the tight security control, they'll have their throats slit by the assasins. A SWAT team will be ready, for crowd control. And if things get out of hand and people think they have the right to show their displeasure, they will be happily bombed by the B-52 bombers up in the sky.

So a countdown in my country would basically involve some fireworks. And after the fireworks, everyone is to go back home and do something productive. Like telling their kids not to jump on people's cars during countdowns.