Cyber cafes and kids

If you haven't heard about it, the government had just come up with an ingenious plan to keep children/teenagers away from cyber cafes.

Government: We will enforce a ruling whereby cyber cafes are required to stop operating by 12 midnight and we will have a review to see if games will still be allowed or not in cyber cafes.

In my most humble opinion, this is a great plan. The government is right. If you can't take the children/teenagers away from the cyber cafes, take the cyber cafes away from them. Which is great and all, until you realised what Joe and Ali have been doing with the time which they formerly used to play Dota with.

Joe: Hey fag, Dota mo?

Ali: Its 11.30pm...CC close d la.

Joe: Oh..ermm...yum cha?

Ali: Can't la...Kopi ais 1.40 nowadays

Joe: What about we go rempit-ing?

Ali: Hallow...petrol 2.70 now.

Joe: What about we sniff some glue and get high?

Ali: You get the glue...I get the paint thinner.


The government doesn't realise that the kids/teenagers these days will still not stay at home, do their homework and play with their cocks in front of their PCs even with the cyber cafes taken away from them. I mean, who would have thought of studying on a Saturday evening as a good idea? Personally, I would rather have my face smashed in with a shovel than to study on a Saturday evening.

You can't keep the kids off the street nowadays since they're so good at asking for freedom to go where they want and parents only have themselves to blame for not administering a proper slap acrosss their faces in the name of discipline. Knowing that you have failed as a parent, would you prefer if your children went to a cyber cafe to play games or would you prefer to receive a phone call one day from someone who had to break it to you that your son had entered the Pearly Gates in a giant ball of flame all because he couldn't perform the Superman pose on his motorcycle properly?

So here's the twisted conclusion. Do not ban cyber cafes or make them close at midnight. BAN THE FUCKING KIDS. Parents or parents to be, if you're reading this, please, keep them at home. It is hard enough to accept the fact that your kids are pawning me in Dota most of the time, but please, the cyber cafe is the only cheap form of entertainment around after midnight.

To the government, please, enforce a law whereby kids under 18 years old are not allowed into cyber cafes after midnight. Reward the parents with a 10 buck petrol voucher for every time they have to slap their child to tell them that they can't go to cyber cafes. The child would probably be too traumatized as his dad drives into Shell to redeem a full tank of petrol.....for his Merc C200...which is almost likely to have a bigger tank than a Proton.

So you see, everyone's happy. The cyber cafe operators will not lose too much of their business while people with too much free time like me can still look forward to a game of Dota after midnight. Government would be happy that they have achieved their objective of preventing kids from patronizing cyber cafes after midnight and parents would be happy with the petrol vouchers.

What about the kids? Well frankly speaking, nobody cares about the kids now, do they? hahahahhahahaahahaha...man i'm so evil.