Sorry loh...I not atas enough loh

I read in the Saturday papers that Chelsea Football Club will be holding an autograph session at the Adidas outlet in Pavillion KL and I was excited. As excited as a little school girl would be. Of course being a Chelsea fan since 1998, I made my way down there hoping to get at least ONE player's signature. At the end of the day, I wish I had sat at home and jack off to Japanese porn instead.

You see, by the time I reached the Adidas outlet, there was already a huge crowd. Nevermind that 3 quarters of the crowd were wearing RM10 Chelsea jerseys from the pasar malams. What's worse was the crowd consists mainly of guys. Who are tall. Who impedes your view.

No matter. The players weren't here yet and I was still hopeful for at least ONE autograph.

A few minutes later there was some cheering from the crowd. Holy Jesus, they were here!!!
Nah I was just kidding. It was someone who really really looked like Kenny Sia (apparently, Malaysia's most famous blogger). I couldn't be sure. Whoever he was, he was getting a lot of cheers from the crowd. And whoever he was, he just walked into the Adidas outlet without so much as a wave or a smile to the crowd. Then only I realise how short he really is. Fuck it. Everyone were not there for Kenny or his look-alike. WE WANT CHELSEA!!

A few minutes later again, they arrived. Well when I said they, I meant ONE player arrived. Michael Ballack arrived to much cheering and camera flashes. No Scolari. No Terry. No Lampard. Just that German who failed to win the EPL, Champions League and Euro 2008.

NO FUCKING MATTER THEN. I was still bloody hopeful to get an autograph, even from the bloody Nazi. Ballack and all those TV cameramen entered the outlet. A few other random people who nobody seemed to give a fuck entered as well. There was much going on in the outlet while we, the common fans stood outside.

After about 20 minutes, the security guards finally let us in and lo and behold, Ballack was nowhere to be seen. Not even Kenny Sia/Kenny Sia's look alike. What greeted us when we entered the outlet was this:

Now this begs the question. WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE WANKERS?

I overheard someone speaking on the microphone about asking the Adidas ambassadors to take a group photo. I can only assume that the people in the photograph above are the Adidas ambassadors. Or what I would prefer to call as cock-suckers. I can only imagine the amount of cocks they had to polish with their mouths to become an Adidas ambassador. There they were holding their Ballack autographed cards and smiling and having fun while the commoner (me and the rest who stood for an hour or perhaps more outside) were left with nothing but sulking faces. I swear that the Indian guy standing next to me muttered to his friends "Fuck these people, they're not important weh".

I stood there for a while, trying to figure out if the people above were local celebrities. Then I realised I was better off having my nuts sawed off because nobody gives a fuck about the local celebrities. Sorry loh. I know I'm not atas enough to get an autograph. I am not a celebrity what.

So I left the place with no autograph, 3 pictures of the ambassadors which I will be printing out and personally pissing on together with the thought of murdering each and everyone of them, and the thought of supporting another club just because Adidas thinks that the normal fan on the street is not deserving enough for an autograph.

And seriously, Adidas, this is a plea to you, please, if you're ever going to hold another autograph session JUST for cock-suckers and not the common fan, please let that be known to the public. We have better things to do as well. Overall, it was a wasted day. Fuck Adidas and their ambassadors man.

***This post consists of more cussing than usual. Because once again the un-atas people telah ditindas by the blatant stupidity of which they call popularism***